The scribblings on the walls of silence has not been scribbled on for a while... too much of unwordable scribblings. The humble acceptance of humiliations, the anticipation for more and the immunity attained from such with the frequency of humiliations like it was other's birth right on the rise.
Interestingly some ask me now whether I am an atheist, an anti-religious person or an antitheist. It is mostly the admirably religious fenatics and orthodox who ask me this and honestly I must confess that I am a believer... an extreme one in that case; totally have faith that there is a wonderful God up above, a belief so strong that I do not see the difference in humans unlike them who follow a religion.
Either I am too old or too tired to fight at the moment. Ignorance, ego, malice, manipulation, corruption, apathy... the list is endless and the need to have the energy to stand up, question and smash the regardless being the ideal, here I stand not knowing the ideal anymore, not knowing what is there to fight for, what is there to stand for and not knowing if at all a difference can be made, nevertheless if a difference needs to be made when everyone shares the comfort of being the same. The irony is that through the silence I helplessly keep, quite amusingly I have killed my soul and have let everything that I have stood against breed like maggots on living flesh. Feel so crowded when alone and alone when crowded. This is the best career performance as an actor in the stage of life I have done so far... and hardly does anyone realize there is a soul dying within. Sometimes people don't even mind killing the actor to get the performance they want. And I thank thee...
Bottomline: "Irony differentiates. Cynicism never does." Paul Horgan
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