What To Name It?...

“Hence when did thy breasts hate to feed me?

Hence then haven’t they heaved to need me?

Oh Mother! Why art thou so silent?

Those bombs and those ammos from the machine guns, they bother me no more.

They sound like a lullaby to me.

Wasn’t it you who reassured me that ‘this is life’ even before I was born?

Now why do you still lie?

I heard Papa’s plea to let you go

before they shot that merciless bullet into his head.

I saw it Ma, I saw it all...

ripped, stripped and writhing in pain,

I heard your final beg to let me go and take all that they wanted from you.

I cried then Ma, I cried aloud,
I cried my best with all I could;
thought that hearing me cry they would let you go.
They never stopped... and choked I lay.

My eyes still won’t open full and I only see darkness around.

Tears mixed with trickling blood have dried;
And my voice too fragile to rise above the noise outside me.
Oh Mom! Why don’t you shout for me now?

Was it wrong that I was born to thee?!

Why have they taken it all even before I can understand in a life time or more what war and hatred is all for?

Tell me Mom, tell me now from up above
Why won’t a bullet silence me too?”

(A Painting and Poem after witnessing what one shouldn't during the war in the island nation when we were busy complaining of potholes in our own.)

To Pain With Love

Long withstanding and quite understanding;
Remorse replaced with resilience, stood I with someone not too new.

“Pain! What doth thou bring!
Is it in vain that we suffer thee?
Pleasure found none who cast their minds to sway from thee.

Contrary doth my mind think today.
And quite complacent my soul doth feel.
Coming in terms with the sequence of events that offer thee.
The ridiculed mandatory impression of thy vast foray.
That calls for compassion to scrub the scar thy reminiscence leaves behind.

Pain, how art thou?
Miniscule or in magnitude great?!
Prayeth I now, casteth thou not thy shadow on the ones I love.

Pain, thy image might scare the breath out of some.
Having been thy favourite and chosen one oft, I know thee.
Today, I laugh at thee. Sans fear, I mock thee.
If thy mandatory services are to be rendered, shower it on me; set my people free.
Spare them all you kill and give me all if thy will…
On bended knees I ask thee…”

The Wanderer

This is a dream of long ago...

Of a wanderer, an occasional sage and an often hermit;
who oft as life relies upon, took steps too bold into the cowardice path of loneliness for sanity's sake alone.

Oh! pathless paths they were.
The truth better left unsaid of the dark alleys and those mystery miles some roads carried him through.

Why the journey?
Why the pain?
How the endurance to carry on?
No one knows yet! Not even he...

Seeker of the Trinity-'Love, Truth and Simplicity',
the journey still continues,
across barbed wires and fences
and through doubts and hurdles come what may.

Like the others who took this path and disappeared
into the mists on the rivers they tread,
leaving no trails whatsoever,
so will he and knows that too... yet,
he makes his own path step by step.
Knowing well that a man who has chosen to walk into the dark
must not be surprised to see the light within.

The Invisible Lover

From amidst the raging storm of thoughts a cry shattering the sky…

“When wilt thou return from the dew-topped mountains?
From those high peaks that rub my imagination through.

Where oft doth thou disappear into a fragile trail of foot prints that mystically
reappear?
from where I hear a heart’s lonely cry; from where the frantic cries of the reaper
submerge dies.
Is it true or is it just I?

What hath thou so wonderfully witnessed from a town so tinsel lies?
From where such ruthless condemnation forked displayed…

From where ever, tell me now, tell me how and tell me why?
When thou art gone for what must I still low lie?”

The Marionettes

A drop of tear like dew drop did fall,
with pain in the heart like a sinking star.
Like eyeless moths on the dark horizon,
the looming image of sorrow drifts.

The bridges move as I in stillness stand;
time flies by and so doth the distance.
Scramming like a ruthless vagabond,
bonds of restraint seem to have no bounds.

The world rests well and so must I
knowing that tides roll past as destiny moves by.

Birth, life or death, we are just puppets on loose strings;
held by a power above.
Till fate moves on, let us dance our dance,
like the last standing dew drops on the blade of grass.

Thoughtless Thoughts

The voice is cut,
the noises prevail.
The noises cut,
I listen voices again!

Behind walls of silence,
switching gear to gear,
my journey begins into the wilderness,
across pathless paths I take
as I transcend deeper and deeper into the self...
humbly I surrender to the unseen, the unknown.

No pleasure nor pain,
still in motion, so lies all emotions, thus I stay...
Waiting for the breath to subside.

What am I?
Nothing!
From nothing I came
and to nothing I go
and to realize that nothing I am
feels like there is nothing to worry no more.

"Thathuvumasi"-they say,
To experience a feeling as this.
Hard to explain and hardly explained.

Can't say this is bliss
and can't say that there is anything I missed.
A thought becomes everything
and everything becomes a thought.

Nothing wasted reigns,
nothing wasted remains.

Life is thus and thus remain...
a potpourri of thoughtless thoughts during meditation.