What If Every NEWS Had A Connection

A fellow gets bitten by a snake while trying to take a selfie with it. This happened in India's northwestern Rajasthan state (where else?!) after forest department officials removed the snake from a school. No kidding check NEWS here: Snake Selfie

Talking about snakes, imagine coming back home after a long day only to realise two huge pythons have picked your roof as the perfect spot to settle a score. For one family in Queensland, Australia, this sadly was a reality. Read the NEWS and watch the video here: Pythons on the roof-top And all this while I thought watching our Priest waiting to talk about sin (ironically) was the worst that could happen coming back after a long days work.

A new species of a ground-dwelling lizard has been discovered in Goregaon's Aarey Colony and Thane's Badlapur forested belts, 130 years after the last such gecko was discovered, and has been named after a Bengaluru-based scientist Varad Giri. Finally Indian Scientists discover something-so what if it is a lizard that was just right up the wall?! check NEWS here: The Indian Edison

A video, currently trending on YouTube, shows the adorable moment a little girl hugged actor Sunny Leone and simply refused to let go. Apparantely, the child wanted to go home with Sunny. Surely the mother of the child must have realized the truth in the phrase 'Like father, like daughter.' Catch the NEWS here: Everyone loves Sunny

Doctors at a Chinese hospital said a baby boy born with a total 31 fingers and toes will receive a series of surgeries free of charge. And here I am wondering what is wrong with the Chinese... Check NEWS here: China has more than it can handle. First people and then toes

Meanwhile Docs from the US of A have succeeded in creating the world's first baby using a new "three person" fertility technique today. The five-month-old boy has the usual DNA from his mum and dad, plus a tiny bit of genetic code from a donor. Perhaps the need of the hour in that country. Check NEWS here: Whose kid is it anyway?!

Also, Nathan Desai-(one more) disturbed lawyer in US of A of Indian origin was wearing military-style clothing with Nazi symbols during the 20-minute shooting spree when he fired at passing cars. Desai's name was written with the 's' capitalised in media reports in Houston, making it sound European, but his father was identified as Prakash Desai which helped confirm his nationality that will help stereotype the rest.
See now that is the advantage of having just one father. Check NEWS here: What is in a name?!

Well, if you guys still wish to continue this streak, this might be the NEWS you needed. An Indian-origin doctor from a UK sperm bank has launched a new mobile app for women who can browse and pick the right candidate online to father her child. Check here: App'se Baap takh

Humanity should be wary of seeking out contact with alien civilizations, Stephen Hawking has warned once again. "One day, we might receive a signal from a planet like this," Hawking says "But we should be wary of answering back. Meeting an advanced civilization could be like Native Americans encountering Columbus. That didn't turn out so well." Well he was at least right about that. Read here: This man seems attacked

Now that brings us to the end of the NEWS for today and I wish I could start a NEWS channel to provide humanity with NEWS that no one cares. Until then, keep making NEWS for the world... 

Unbelievable Fight

So of all the things, I never thought fighting could be so much fun. Should one laugh? Should one cry? Should one do both?! You see; you decide...

And for a bonus, if you are still up to it, try this too:

And let me know... is it only me or did anyone else feel that this bout would have looked better had the fighters worn frocks... By the by, these are scenes from old Tamil movies.

A Vice An Advice

"Its a vice to advice the wise; advice otherwise"

(While trying to find an alternative for my usual "Don't try to teach your Grandpa how to fcuk")

Picture courtesy:
http://sporeflections.wordpress.com/2010/05/26/the-wise-old-man-and-the-youth/

How Open Is An Open Book?!

"To be an Open Book" as often as someone claims, ask yourself "How open can an open book be? After all, even an open book opens up to only two pages!"

(A thought during a psychoanalytical session)

Picture courtesy:
http://gothicbohemianstock.deviantart.com/art/Stock-Open-Book-85672857

The Short Blog Post

"Any place where Man finds a void, vacant, vacuum, he absolutely must have an erection."

(Staring at skyscrapers filling the urban jungle, a.k.a "cities", I wondered...)

Picture courtesy:
http://usandeep.com/travel/chicago.html

The Idiot Who Bought A BMW... (Unlike the Monk who sold his)

An interesting New Year for me this time and as usual, neither missed the tradition of the 12'O Clock chapel nor the vehicle-top view of fireworks while wishing everyone walking by a "Happy New Year." However, this time had my son (barely 3-months old) who seemed to enjoy the fireworks more than anyone around and it was sheer joy seeing him enjoy. Then came the moment of truth...

This usual event takes place right in front of an old church's graveyard where the traffic is rather slow (both inside and outside the gates. Pun intended.) although the year-end often has this understandable rush. And this year, was no different from any previous years I have known. People tried to negotiate for space in their little cabs, cars and bikes with some parked comfortably on the sides. Somehow, things managed to go smooth with people adjusting, giving way as often as they could. All till the Bloody Monstrous Whore (a BMW) came in or rather tried to and out of it 2, the owners I suppose (or rather slaves), worried that their by now headlight-blinking, horn-screaming, polished treasure which no one else cared a rat's-arse about not get a scratch nevertheless a much feared dent on new-year's eve I suppose. Trying to command others to move, these slightly over-sized buffoons tried to shoo people expecting the respect to be strewn upon them for the very and the only reason that they got out of a BMW. In this little town, no one seemed to care nor seemed bothered to obey the demanded respect for the BMW nor its slaves. Further honking, further blinking of head lamps and still no budging... in fact it only grossed the crowd and they verbally pulled a middle finger straight at the 2 fatsos' faces. The BMW backed up giving way for the cars already in line to move... did they have another choice?! hahaha! I'm luvin it. Sometimes, the crowd's whisper is louder than an idiot's scream I learnt.

Bottomline: "Property is intended to serve life, and no matter how much we surround it with rights and respect, it has no personal being. It is part of the earth man walks on. It is not man." Martin Luther King, Jr.

Another Japanese Invention?! Duh...

In the hunt for food like a savaged beast (as often,) one day, the path to the fiery destination was just off the road... waiting. The victim, I still do not know whether it was me or the wonderful fish rolled into a Sashimi. Yep, the Japanese Restaurant, hidden in the non-luxurious part of Nungambakkam, Chennai, is a must visit for Sushi, Sashimi and Sake tasters. Try it; its quite an experience. Besides the chops sticks that can make the eating experience interesting, the absolute inexperience and lack of knowledge of the ingredients presented right in front of you can be a revelation to the taste buds immediately and stays in the memory for later lighter moments. The Japanese Chef's balance of food is like the movement of the Geisha-intriguing and at the same time inspiring.

The first time I tried the Sashmi, as my friends and I were waiting for our order to be served, I watched a Man in a chair in the next table shoot backward from his chair (literally) like as if he just had a rocket in his mouth. His eyes started to tear and he scuffled for water, water and more water. I did not understand. "Why make a scene?!" I wondered. "Amateurs!" Duh. Moments soon, our plates or rather tiny bowls were in place and everything placed where it should be. And like a typical South Indian who has plenty of everything without knowing any and that too with the epitome of confidence, I too proceeded to layer my sushi with that little white piece which later I came to be introduced to as ginger and then plunged the sashimi, ginger into a bowl of black thingy which later was confirmed as soya and proceeded to plunge that sashimi, ginger, soya into a green thingy which by the by, I wished I had known before hand... liberally I dabbed my sashimi, ginger, soya and green-coloured thingy and stuffed this splendid bundle into my mouth and... VIOLA! my chair shot back and as I fumbled for my glass of water, the newbies around me gave me that 'look' (yeah right... the same "look" I had given the guy near my table just moments ago) and sniffled. The fiery streak of my nerves have never been exposed to something so freakishly devilish that this green-thingy which shot fire through my nostrils and blasted every opening in my body with every fluid that could possibly explode from them. Duh! that "WASABI" I wish I had known earlier.

Since then I take a lot of friends to introduce them to Japanese Cuisine and I never miss the chance to check out the 'Wasabi-effect' on them... just one of the many devilish pleasures of the world to sit back and smile when you get to see someone else's tongue on fire. hahaha!

They Definitely Need To Be In A Workshop

Coming back from a workshop, there was something I wanted to blog about. Will verbattim the process for better understanding...

Scene: The workshop, a senior Professor, is surrounded by hand-picked company of girls... they are about to begin discussion on a topic on "Process"... and the dialogue goes as follows in the paradise of fools...

Antique Prof: O.K before we begin, lets understand what 'supervision process' is.

Aspiring Student: Sir, whats a 'process'?

Antique Prof: Yeah, thats what I want to start with. O.K, since none of you know, let me explain what a process is.

(It was almost nearing lunch time)

Antique Prof: When we go for a buffet, we first take the plate, right?

Aspiring Students: Yes, sir!

Antique Prof: Then we take some chappatis, right?

Aspiring Students: Yes, sir (in Chorus)

Antique Prof: Then we take some chicken, then some mutton, then some raitha and proceed to eat... right?

Aspiring Students: oh, yes sir! (now almost reaching a fake state of ecstasy)

Antique Prof: We do not dump everything in one... rather, we follow a system and that is process my dear!

(I would have expected light effects and more drama at this point. However, this old guy, being a bachelor and having every right to be so, is also supposedly a very powerful person in his own den. So now for the hysterical part...)

Antique Prof: Now did you get it?

(As he secretly pryes on the fake attention, his quiet satisfaction got busted when one among the few said...)

Aspiring Student: No, sir!

Antique Prof: Why?

Aspiring Student: "I am a vegetarian sir!"

(Duh! I almost fell off my chair hearing this... untill this old guy goes...)

Antique Prof: O.K, so you take a plate, you take some chappatis, you take some mushroom, you take some gobi manchurian, some raitha and proceed to eat... now thats a process... (puff! pant! puffed out!) Did you get it?

Aspiring Student: Ahhh! now I understood it.

(Professor giggles, I almost lose my balance... I can hear the chorus "Long live the community of fools" singing in high pitch somewhere in the corner of my head)

Bottomline: Wonder how some so called 'Men' behave like fools in the company of women