Que Sera Sera

Time is such a precious thing. It is not about metaphysical questions like who invented it(?) or on what basis it was invented(?) or whether it is the same for everyone(?)... This is more about the changes that happen around us when we are too adamant not to change or too stubborn with the thought of changing ourselves while assuming that the things around us remain constant in the mean time or worse still, attempting to change others as we change ourselves or decide to remain unchanged in the process.

In this process of change, undeniable is the fact that time runs by... 

The fact that every seed and every child grows, every sin is realized and regretted, every lesson has been learnt and unlearnt in the process does not count at the end of the day when the toll is seen as a punishment on one's own body and skin. Of late I read about a popular and beautiful actress from a couple of years ago lamenting over why she is not offered any roles in movies like before - especially after her marriage and two kids... well, she might not see it but, things have changed. Her innocence is replaced with the very fact that she is beginning to see and question the facts and realities of life. We get to read about women killing their husbands to be with their lovers and in the process landing in custody and losing their life as well as those around them. This in fact is not new. A few decades ago I remember a young couple who were quite close during their college days. The girl was seriously involved; the boy, not quite so. As usual, the family drama stepped in and she was told that parents knew what was best for their child and they had found a better option and a brighter future in the promised land - the U.S of A. - with a proposal that could be sealed through a holy matrimony. With her lover backing out, she took the proposal and did take off to the promised land - but not for a promised life. She declared to her new husband her affair from the past and inundated him with punctuated clauses about reasons why she would be lost in her past memories even if she were to li(v)e with him. As any self-respecting man would do, he wanted to wash himself clean from this mess as well and sent her back home for good. This time, the former lover had no chance to escape. To cut the long story short, there was a divorce, a second marriage for her and a first for the lover-turned-second husband, they have two kids and are living happily or miserably ever after. What was lost in all this drama was 'time'. What was established was the fact that what must happen will happen - que sera sera...

Sons grow, daughters grow, marriages grow old and sour, people yearn for rest and respect as much as they earn to rest and be respected, we spend so much time conceiving plans to destroy others when the same could have been invested to create something better for oneself and those around, we fight only when it comes to losing what we have and stay comfortably unbothered with pretentious emotions when we see someone else struggle or fight, we highlight the mistakes of others as we delight in our own eccentricities as we underplay our atrocities - as we begin to think and think of beginning a new chapter in our life. Yet, it moves...    

Life Is A Waste Of Time

Pork, turkey and cheese have been rinsed, marinated and stocked to the brim in the freezer;
Carols we heard sing, crackers were bought and family get-togethers all attended;
Lights and stars hang around as gleefully as the people who bring out those smiles right in time for those selfies...
This is supposed to be Christmas eve.
When so many things happen around me, my mind wanders into areas I need not tread. Everything seems like a waste of time - food, job, education, people and nevertheless, life itself - a sheer waste of time. It is not like I am in this thanathos mode for the first time... yet, a few things grave enough to leave a scar have happened around me this recently that has made me wonder, what is the point in life(?)
Coming to think about it, like it were an achievement, my lack of ambition has become a burden rather than a blessing at the moment. It actually surprizes me. I realize that life has this huge potential to tease us and test us at the most vulnerable of times - when principles you stand for get mocked and beaten, the ones you thought took vows of chastity and were supposedly clean, happen to be the rottenest lot of hypocritical liars, spineless slaves become speechless spectators to the oppressor's delight and alas, people who you fight for betray you at last and run away as far as they can while you stand there all beaten and bruised. And you still stand, know(wish)ing that there is truth in the saying, 'The truth shall set you free.' From what? For what? I don't know.
Once again, what is truth? Is it something that I believe? Something that I comfortably believe or perhaps believe for comfort's sake? Truth, as a Bio-technologist put it, '...is 360 degree. It is a point from where you feel what you see (360 degrees around you) is what it is. What you believe to be true from that certain point at that certain time.' Within the radius of that point, there are perhaps 360 more or even more points and from each point is another 360 degrees - which gives 'truth' an unlimited chances and infinite possibilities to exist with a multiple 360 degrees within that small 360 degree from which we see it. So now, what is truth after all? Is it an illusion or a pet delusion we all seem to have chanced?
The more you ponder, the more useless everything you believed to be true is. Everything a sheer waste of time. Time taken to know, to understand, to believe, to follow - all a waste of time.
We all want to be the one's who know everything, who want to control everything and think that we can plan and execute everything and cling on to anything that we find comfortable to rest our beliefs in and name it 'The Truth'. Truth is far from it. 'I don't even know what it is' - perhaps that is the truthest of truth you could possibly hear from me right now. I really don't know why people betray, why people become spineless, why people value survival more than living with dignity and respect, why people want everything they desire when they can give nothing to deserve it, why those closest to you decide to step into silence when their voices, even their simplest whisper would mean so much to you... I don't know. I really don't know.
Life is a waste of time.
Happy Christmas Everyone...        

In The Context Of Time

Strange period of time we live in these days

When everything is confusingly reversed...

When certain people in India who once had all the access to education and power, today, watch everyone they denied education to having absolute access to the same in the name of the very same banner of "reservation" under which it was earlier claimed.

Absolutely surprized am I

When the one who was enslaved rules and vice versa...

When the President of the US of A is black and the rapper who sings about his misery turns out to be a white guy called Eminem.

How more crazy can it get when you realize that

Everyone has been fooled by our "Welfare States"...

That apart from casting one's vote, there is no freedom or welfare that the politicians have managed to shell out for us that every vote supposedly promised us.

When you realize that education and health have become business of the richy' rich private parties as the government-our government-for the people, by the people and of the people-considers its business taking over and running Toddy and Liquor booths(?!)

For the best interest and "Welfare" of its citizens I suppose.
Meanwhile, there is collective response to promote secularism in school during children's formation on one hand by banning spiritual books and on the other, asking for spiritual books to be brought back into prisons, asylums and sanitariums to reform the wayward (?!)
It is equally interesting to witness the Good Books that were supposed to bring peace and love bring more of war and hate; perhaps it just reflects the rationale behind the fact that humans find it easier to kill a human life in the pretext of protecting an animal's... 'all for the glory of God' I must believe.

Interesting world am I in...

Where in the name of providing security, people agree to lose their privacy,

Women are offered protection from existing violence around as they immediately get criticized for the dress they wear that men and certain women choose to believe is the reason for all their misfortune and shell out rules on how to behave, dress and who to talk with. In the mean time Moms seem to find no fault in their 'laadla' sons anyway.  
Corporate houses run high, reaping profits, selling products that make no sense and people who feel an absolute need for anything and everything sold, proceed to amass the same with borrowed wealth to procuring things they don't need and enter a life of eternal debt.

Marveled am I to watch...

Citizens lose their civil rights in the name of having the same protected and freedoms being curtailed in the name of the same being promoted. And the minority few who show dissent against the policies of the government and question the same in absolute love for his/her country being targeted, dispelled and labelled "A GRAVE Internal Threat" as the majority-rest taking the cue, settle to rest with freebies thrown at them for the grabs and stay deaf, blind and mute to the nude king/queen's dance. 

Governments have become a burden than be of any use to the people and "Politics" as the name confirms, has become the thriving ground for "Poly" as in 'Many' and "Tics" as in 'Blood Sucking Insects".

Long live my country! Long live Democracy (whatever it means)! and Long live the rulers and the ruled!

(Well, some day you might all know that what once went up, sure came down too... Booh!) 

Yet It Moves

Is being still and still being calm the same as doing nothing? "No" they say. And I agree. Stillness and calmness gives clarity-clarity ensures certainty-certainty, being something everyone wants, at times, needs. 

Yet, time tests our patience. Patience gives us experience. Experience gives us hope. And 'hope' becomes the base for the rest. 

Though at times, like now, I bow low to pray to the one above to conclude. Sometimes one can't help from asking, "Dear one above, is there an end to this thing?!" 

Helplessly still and calm, patience tested to the core, with hopeless hope climbing the rungs of faith, moving strong, standing outside the inner circle, wanting to be included in, un-understood by the rest, under suspicious stares from comfortable stairs, laughed, whispered and mocked at, like a beggar I stand, thus a beggar made. Walked straight, never bent. Today, I crawl, squirming like a worm, spines removed-one after the other, like the victims I plead for, victim I am made-to experience the taste of irony... hypocrisy galore!

This is something I have brought upon myself... hence sans complaining I trudge forward praying for a miracle... just one more. Yet, it moves.

Oft She Reminds...

There is someone who has been tolerating me quite a lot, quite a bit these days... Hey by the by, don't 'quite a lot' and 'quite a bit' mean the same thing though they sound different?

Last heard her say, 'Angel or Devil, Animal or Beast, I love you every single way'... Isn't that something quite nice to hear?

Finding comfort in all the masks one dons... Sometimes the person closest to us is the one who gets burnt the most when the crazy world is at its best doing the worst it can possibly do. At times the fire within that can burn others, burns us as well, which at times seems indestructible and over powering, magnifies and intensifies if soemone tries to send the wind that way... doesn't work. Period. What actually works is a dash of water thrown mercilessy, chilling us to the spine where the effort to errupt will not work no more. Perfect. Another angle that works is that fire often when found at its extreme, is extinguished with fire too. So may be an equal and opposite reaction does the trick too. Precisely.

However, the manipulative mind and the games people play, makes no sense when the soul can rest sans any worry from these rat dens. Oft she reminds that simpler things in life, the basics, those things for survival and living, are simple and prevents me from having an imbalance by rendering me into an excess of those to compensate for the brain games the urban jungles adheres me to play. Sometimes, loaded with more than we can possible fire, people who require due credit and place in our lives, we seldom provide and at moments like these, time renders its support to tell her that she is remembered oft.

The perfect balance is quite imbalanced with more and less often overcrowding into one sphere of our lives... all that one needs and possibly can do is to find a stimulant and grab the time when time plays its lusty tune for us to grab the moment... moment to moment. Some of the best plans are oft the unplanned plans. So I learnt.

Bottomline: “To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”