Sipping Tea at a Brothel

He pays.

He leaves.

And she bleeds quietly.

Some come for release,

others for control.

Some come to forget.

Some to remember.

Some to be punished.

Some just come because it’s cheap.

It's sin.

It’s not sin.

It’s survival.

It’s escape.

It’s addiction.

It’s barter.

It's bargain.

It's need.

It’s ritual.

Here, bodies are commodities.

Sold by the hour.

Measured by the weight, age and colour of the skin,

freshness of smile,

limpness of resistance.

It is commercialisation of desire

wrapped in lace,

sold in whispers,

shared in commissions, 

paid in bribes,

cashed in tips.

She lets strangers 

from the corridor of silence 

enter in the dark...

Screeching beds, 

sweat,

blood and tears - at times

between pain, pleasure and numbness... 

He comes. He goes.

But the scent lingers around like emptiness. 

The curtain falls, when the last man zips,

And I lay my teacup after that last sip...

Don't Give Love A Bad Name

A few days back, my eight-year old son thrust his i-pod and head-phones and said, “Dada, listen; I think you will remove some songs from this.” When I asked him what was wrong, he insisted that I listen to understand. I listened. Wow! It was then that I realized... recently, my boy has been trying to learn and understand the different genres in music and to differentiate between the pops from the rocks, heavy metals from death metals, country from reggae, folk from rap and so on... he has been at it and has been engrossed exploring any music he can find, categorizing them, memorizing the lyrics and attempting to ape them in his guitar. Then there it was, the few songs he was doubtful about... Eminem, 50 cents, Slick Rick and others rapping and shouting out loud words like “FCuk”, “Sex”, “Sh1t” etc.,. What surprised me were not those words yet that my son had understood what they meant.

It would be easy for a crowd to blame it on the fault of the uncensored media or even the open and unrestricted availability of content or even at parents like me who leave children unattended in the name of giving them “the space”. Yet, trust me, no child is going to be ignorant for long and every child is going to grow up to understand the meaning of these and many such words that will make them parents one day.

Today, when my son stands with the guts that it takes to stand square and declare to me, ‘Hey Dad, these are words that I understand, what are you going to do about it?’ I can like any common sacrosanct, self-righteous, hypocritical scoundrel either tell him that those are “dirty” words and that he must have nothing to do with it and create an image of disgust and make him feel guilty and ashamed of anything having to do with procreation and successfully accomplish making him a hypocritical scoundrel as well OR as I decided to do, hand over the music device and coolly tell him that now that he knew what those words meant I trust that he would know why and when he should or shouldn’t be using them and that I would not be deleting them and it was up to him to decide whether he wants to listen or not listen to those songs. His eye widened with surprise, as that was definitely not what he expected to hear and he whistled a song and walked away a little older. Kids will be kids and I am so glad my son and I had this little conversation.

Is sex such a dirty thing that we end up making everyone feel so guilty about it? 

The Ghost In The Mirror

The whole world seems busy these days... Kerala had a few Temple issues - wanted the treasury of one to stay closed quoting some coiling divine serpent that is there protecting it while some wanted the doors in another to open a little wider for women to enter; Tamil Nadu had its share of sex scandals - one where a singer 'me-too'ed' a lyricist and got crushed for doing that and later a Pollachi abuse issue that got politicized eventually. With the elections around the corner, parties are busy trying to solicit one another to form united alliances of utter confusion and as we go higher, we have people from the winged force flying unused rusty jets into politics-created war zones, getting shot to demonstrate the need to replace our fighting planes with a few new ones that are currently stuck underneath a s(c)(h)ammed deal and for the NEWS too, as we, the distracted, detracted nationalists, hail the pilot whose plane got gunned-down, returning without even a piece of that ejected seat. This to me, is so unfair. 

This last particular event especially, took me through a memory lane. A long time ago I rode my bicycle up a post and crashed it into another compound and my Dad I must say, was not particularly pleased with what I did to the cycle more than what had happened to me after the crash and I remember getting whipped as well for wrecking our neighbour's compound with my cycle. Today while reading about this guy who crashed a MIG purchased with my Dad's money (well, he pays his income tax you see, which must have gone into purchasing at least a sq.mm of the tail wing of the jet) into enemy territory and on the contrary, getting hailed for doing that it seems so unfair that the way we look at things have changed in the last couple of decades since I crashed my cycle into my neighbour's wall. At least I came back with all the scrap metal I managed to find when I crashed; and this guy just returned empty-handed (he did not even bring back his ejected seat!) with nothing more than a gun-sling moustache intact and I got busted while this guy gets hoisted... Duh! How fair is life?

Talking about 'fairness', we are all only as good as the world allows us to be I suppose. Little do I believe anymore that everyone has a destiny and if anything that happens, happens only for a reason. Everything that happens, opens only opportunities for other things to happen as I get to see these days. It is left to us to see those opportunities, use it or let it go. You cannot just shoot down a flying opportunity like you can shoot down a fighter jet using automatic guns and radars. 

In life, opportunities come, opportunities go... and it flies off if you don't seize it. 

The problem with opportunities is that we at times, mistake, misinterpret and misplace opportunities. During a recent episode, quite sadly I saw some people I 'ass'umed (yeah, made an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me') were friends and my close circle, turn into opportunists who decided to break trust and good faith to keep themselves safe and secure. While most cut off and remained at dignified distance in absolute silence, some did harness the courage to come to me and declare that they were cowards left with no choice. Fool I must be to trust those words. Well they did have choice. Everyone has a choice... even the a-hole who does not make a choice, does have a choice to not make a choice at the end of the day. However life is such and such is life. Beaten yet not fallen, bruised yet not hurt, shot yet not hunted... just like the fellow whose jet got shot who is a national treasure now.   

Yet trust me, every choice has its consequence, even if it seems like only a shadow that you can ignore with a shrug today, it will hover someday like a dark nightmare that will wake you up screaming. Everything we do will make us think - if not today, someday and I will wait in the darkness for that day to come, to flash a mirror right at the faces of people who don't get to see themselves today and let them see clearly who they really are or capable to be. Today I cannot speak anything about this and if I do, it will be like an idiot trying to sell mirrors to the blind on a moonless night. Values I try to speak of, have already been exchanged for promised treasures and instant pleasures. Let me not disturb those who find these short-term reliefs comforting. Let me not disturb any of those. Trying to make people see through these, at this time, will be like standing in the middle of a whore-house in full swing and preaching about sin. Today, the noise around is too loud and their eyes are fixed at a mirage of permanency and they will never see nor hear whether I yell or shout. Everything for a while and life echoes... ces't la vie. 

Every passing day does not take us into the future; rather it takes us to the past where we leave an unpicked piece that must be gathered to solve a puzzle we are stuck with in the present. A day will come when many will return to search for the missing piece and when that day dawns I will be right here waiting; with a mirror in my hand, to roll my gun-sling moustache and to laugh as they try to recognize their worthless faces.  

Until then, let them shame Sodom and Gomorrah with their ways and make their fathers proud. Go forth and multiply as you please.  

On Sex, Women etc.

Three thoughts just crossed my mind...

1. On Sex: There are reports from India that state that religious groups as well as the ministry of health are for deliberating constraint in introducing decent levels of acceptable sex education in school and choosing abstinence over promoting condoms. (As usual), there is supposed unrest amongst some of the elite members of the civil society who are bold enough to reprimand this loud and clear and their jingling ensured to be heard within the limits of spaces they find comfortable and absolutely safe and hardly anywhere beyond the coffee tables where these discussions take place. Either way, there is noise regarding this factor always doing its rounds.
A few celebrities, who take time to speak something sensible and though provoking (once in a great while) on this issue mention that, humans think of sex quite frequently because evolution constantly compels them to be creative. The moment an Indian hops on to this delicious topic, s/he/it can't resist bringing in the concept of the Kamasutra like it was his/her/it's birthright to talk about it even if s/he/it has not seen a single page from it... duh! fyi, the Kamasutra maybe a handy book and is not a hand-book for sex for Indians and we all don't abide or a-bed by it. During one seminar on sex, I remember a person in the panel (who happened to be gay,) when asked by someone from the audience whether they use condoms during the act, reply without haste, "Would you eat the chocolate with the wrapper?!" Golden thoughts like these do emerge once in a while, still amidst these chuckles and often visualization, man and woman, both, ideally fantasize a good amount of their share of this creative world if thats the least they can do when they can't indulge. 
Whether the restrainers want to prevent or the liberals want laissez-faire, either way once again, whether personally one wants to refrain or indulge, humans just don't seem to find it easy to get the thought of sex out of their head (and their beds).

2. On Ugly: Of late I have been reading and viewing some terrifically horrific stories and images of unbelievable and unacceptable violence. This ranges from boko haram slicing heads of people they think are bringing in an aped-culture, bodo militants on the rampage, 10-year-old kids torturing a 3-year old child to death, maids abusing children left to their care of busy-parents who are too occupied to take care of them, gun-crazy kids turning their dad's weapon on children who would return that evening in a coffin to their parents, military abusing and stripping women in the name of searching them, raping them later and labeling anyone who resents or dissents this as 'grave internal threats and/or terrorists', war criminals who have shattered peace and harmony of thousands of families and an entire country being invited and treated with reverence by their more hideous neighbours... and all sorts of violence in the form of speech from religious to political pulpits and the irresponsible action that follows therewith and the one's who walk around without the slightest clue of these things happening around the world or perhaps don't care a damn even if they do. Life is cruel, evil and wicked too...    

3. On Women: Listening to the kind of complaints women have especially (during and after and before) pregnancy, is it just me or is there anyone else out there who thinks that they deserve better treatment(?!) Homes are ill-equipped to cater to their "needs"; they sure deserve a reservation to check into the nearest mental health clinic for better treatment to reach them... Some (most), at times, most times, don't deserve to be at home. 

p.s: Just noticed, its my thought about sex that seems to have consumed a lot of space in this post. No wonder they say, "Intelligence is anything that a Man thinks besides sex." No wonder...   

Sex Unsexed

A sweet love song I hummed often as a teenager plays in the background from screaming, over-sized speakers amidst a crowd of humanity at its insane best... still, I manage to shift into my own space of bliss and the memories attached therewith. 

The world in the mean time, still goes on its normal spree... prince Harry manages to shock the world as his priceless buff-revealing photos emerges from Vegas (at times, what happens in Vegas does not seem to stay in Vegas.) God save the queen! Websites try to figure out through its online polls on who is smarter-Sherlyn Chopra, who proudly represented India in the Playboy magazine or is it Poonam Pandey, (who unlike the almost forgotten Mangal Pandey, the freedom fighter,) has used her freedom to expression in free India to the maximum by undressing for the cricket team; its "patriotism" you get to see afterall. It is found that the sensational Aarushi Talwar murder case, where the 14-year-old was found killed alongside the male-domestic help, were found to be actually involved in a sexual relationship which according to the investigators could have been the reason for their killing (talk about how difficult it is to find a good domestic help these days); though according to her father, in his own words, "sex is no big deal in elite society." Geetika, from the glamorous world often built in the air comparable to the air hostess that she was, must be giggling, twisting and turning from the world of the dead as post-mortem reports reveal that she was involved in "unnatural" sex with other high flyers. Natural or unnatural, what difference does it make? Its all about whether it was humbling or humiliating as far as matters of sex are concerned... isn't it?! 

Now with strippers, flashers and a bunch of horny humans submitting their acts for an equally horny crowd to watch, I watch from the side-walk, policemen with bamboo sticks attached to the "long-arm" of the law thrashing and chasing humble, street-side hawkers trying to make a living, though small, an honest living... as passport authorities get busy stamping the visa documents of Karenjit Kaur Vohra a.k.a Sunny Leone, an honourable Indian, who has an impeccable record of acting in and directing pornography movies; as a crowd gathers, (as usual,) holding placards to welcome her into the Indian mainstream. In the meantime, the song that I was listening to, drifts into its optimal finale as my dormant brain watches all these in its seasonal best... just that I had music to go with it this time. 

p.c: www.sodahead.com