Thursday, September 2, 2010

All for what?!

"For the sheer fun of it" the words sounded too familiar especially when in the hunt to hear it led me somewhere in the middle of nowhere making it more surreal. Running after money, running after promotions, running after a job just slipping away, running after a mortgage yet to be paid and running on and on one after the other, at some point of time, we would be surprized if we ever stop running. We would probably be hopeless if we did not have a reason to keep running. What if we do stop some day, look around and do something that we are totally passionate about... say for 'nothing'?!...

The world would call us stupid enh?! probably refer to it as madness?! or perhaps a professional suicide?! and as we slow down to hear these being said, we panic and strain to run faster to make up for the speed lost while stopping to listen rather than give it a thought.

Everyone is a human afterall at the the end of the day... right?! Won't it hurt running too long, so fast and enduring the race without knowing what it is that that we run for and how far the run or where the destiny lies?! Poor mortals we! Dare not stop! Run on!

The one who stops to listen to his heart, hear the rhythym of his soul, let his mind rest, allow the wind to take its course and route the sail... would he dare to venture into the pathless path of the unknown mystery giving space for time and tide to take its own course?! Fear! the fear of an unknown phantom sometimes is larger than life. The fear to be alone, the fear of loneliness, the fear to take the first step towards independance when dependance seems more secure... those fears that kill us a million times before death takes us once.

What is this with us humans?! We want everything to be immortal and endure a never ending fight with time. We apply the best beauty lotions that promises us wrinkle-free skin, those hybrid creams that promise us instant fairness, those great hair colours that promises to give us an instant cover-up for those spooky greys with a sheen and shine that comes extra, those teeth whiteners that will give our teeth a glow, a glow so bright that it could solve the problem of bad street lights in the rural India, all those products that will promise us ever-youth, defy age and keep us immortal denying us of the self and destroying everything connected therewith including self-worth and self-respect, which by the by is not packated and sold making ourselves a mockable ridicule by going to the farthest extent to escape the clutches of the impact time. For what?! To live for ever and ever more?! Who are we kidding?! One can walk out of a beauty salon after a full days TLC and walk straight into a speeding truck to be crushed to a pulp and to be scrapped out of the ground by a local street cleaner and sent straight to the morgue for post mortem where hyper-chlorinated water will be used to clean before finely wrapping into a cloth fit to lift a cockroach and dumped into a box fit to hold bullcrap before being sent home in a lousy vehicle fit to move some worthless nothing... Oops! by the by was I mentioning us?!

Thats all life is and all the hungama and dhamasha! The wild chase to defy time...

Bottomline: "God pours life into death and death into life without a drop being spilled." Author Unknown

Its Different Sabji!

The scribblings on the walls of silence has not been scribbled on for a while... too much of unwordable scribblings. The humble acceptance of humiliations, the anticipation for more and the immunity attained from such with the frequency of humiliations like it was other's birth right on the rise.

Interestingly some ask me now whether I am an atheist, an anti-religious person or an antitheist. It is mostly the admirably religious fenatics and orthodox who ask me this and honestly I must confess that I am a believer... an extreme one in that case; totally have faith that there is a wonderful God up above, a belief so strong that I do not see the difference in humans unlike them who follow a religion.

Either I am too old or too tired to fight at the moment. Ignorance, ego, malice, manipulation, corruption, apathy... the list is endless and the need to have the energy to stand up, question and smash the regardless being the ideal, here I stand not knowing the ideal anymore, not knowing what is there to fight for, what is there to stand for and not knowing if at all a difference can be made, nevertheless if a difference needs to be made when everyone shares the comfort of being the same. The irony is that through the silence I helplessly keep, quite amusingly I have killed my soul and have let everything that I have stood against breed like maggots on living flesh. Feel so crowded when alone and alone when crowded. This is the best career performance as an actor in the stage of life I have done so far... and hardly does anyone realize there is a soul dying within. Sometimes people don't even mind killing the actor to get the performance they want. And I thank thee...

Bottomline: "Irony differentiates. Cynicism never does." Paul Horgan