And They Thought He Died

Once I used to wonder, watching the obscure, weird and insalubrious obvious behaviour of people cramped into little cabins that grow smaller as the office grows larger in various secular and diverse places... once, at the fragility, vulnerability and the reality of survival that over-powers the discords of living. I marvelled once too, at the human capacity to endure suffocation, oppression and pain and above all, the ability to conceal it endlessly though they suffer immensly within and move on without a complaint-not even a subtle one would they dare. It doesn't take rocket science to figure out that this unnatural endurance and the abnormal sacrifice was due to a natural instinct of love, committment and care they had for the unseen core-the family they were willing to sacrifice all these for. The family that would take the brunt if the pride, dignity and respect was not gulped down otherwise. They are the ones who are strong enough to take blows on their face, allowing the striker to think that s/he is powerful-allowing them to drool in their fantasy and fallacy-when his maker and he alone know that these blows if not taken, could land in the stomachs of the children and people he has to feed waiting back home for him. One small shift in any of these elements or maybe if it is one last chance-like Samson asked, could topple the dynamic, ripping it by roots from the pillars they stand. These were days when I would secretly wish in my heart, "Wouldn't there be more Christians in these places so that this ridiculous carnage would reduce?" 

 

These days, I get to see in reality what I wished for earlier and I still ask, "Wouldn't there be Christians in these places...?"    

 

I thank thee God for bringing this pain and suffering on to us though we tremble, as it has only drawn us closer to thee and helped us understand you better. It is in these sufferings that many of us are united and we thank thee for bringing us together. It is as we suffer that we are delicately reminded how they that stretched you, stretched you when you could be stretched no more, they that beat you, beat you when you could bleed no more, they that stripped you, stripped you till you could give no more, they that left you, left you when they could take no more... yet still, you only had more for all of them-every single unworthy one of them; you cried for them, you prayed for them, you wished good for them, you cared for them everytime, even when you could have stopped; even when you reached a point at which you had to cry, "Eloi! Eloi! Lama Sabachthani!" you still never cursed, you blessed instead, you still cared, you still listened, you still prayed through the dark clouds, tears and blood and you still must have wished that the cross and the nails wouldn't stop you from touching us, hugging us and healing us one more time, every single time-every unworthy one of us.

 

And I remind myself that the last and only Christian indeed died on the cross long back... and we can find people to be Christ-like only in sufferings and never in deed, indeed.

 

A Silent Prayer: Would you Lord then let us bear your marks and rest in your shadows as the beating never seems to stop yet ceaselessly continues, allow us to partake the essence you set before of us as an example for an unshaken stand you took, even when everyone left, even when you were denied and betrayed not once, not thrice but every single time you wished we would not; sweet Lord then, would you still grant us forgiveness, grace, mercy and peace-everytime we ask and everytime we forget?! and teach us if you will, to endure this pain, bear this suffering and walk through this torture life throws at us just as you did and help us realize that if not in deed atleast through endurance in suffering, we could be Christ-like as a Christian we like to claim to be. In thee we rest and in thee alone we trust Lord moved by faith. Thy will be done...

Pic Courtesy:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/1G4R_oTcUnU/TdXgHg3NisI/AAAAAAAAALs/2iOjpvVnqoA/s1600/toni-frissell-man-carrying-cross-berlin-october-1961.jpg

 

Prayer For Sale

I looked at the suffering of some martyrs, believers and other ordinary people of faith-on whom God enjoys playing his little mischief once in a while... and wondered if they really understood what he was doing with them?! They refer to Him as "the good shepherd", a good shepherd who rescues the sheep when attacked by wolves, tigers, bears, lions and animals of that sort-dangerous and vicious. Then I realize that the sheep thus rescued, is not often rescued to be sent to a beauty parlour or a spa... it is fed, bathed, garlanded, and paraded to be slain, for a festival, as a sacrifice or may be just for the meat, for a celebration or just for the table.

Now, how better is the good shepherd than the animal he saves the sheep from?! Atleast the sheep knows that the dangerous and vicious animals are bad and might instinctly stay clear off them; but how good is the "good" shepherd who betrays their trust?! As usual, the priests and their scribes try to represent themselves hiding behind a proposed imagery; they know well and very well too how gullible we are. The religious institutions try to lead us into paths they feel is profitable (mutually ofcourse!) and to do that, they need our sanctioning or even better, our complete surrender sans any dissent or objection-not even the slightest-unless ofcourse we want the wrath of God fall upon us... now who would want that?! So we are scared now. First they try to pin us down with guilt and if that does not work, they grease it down by adding fear-this is almost like how the medical business houses try to sell their vaccines or how the government taxes us to death.

How would a God so great who can lay down his life for his sheep, be so cruel to those he loves?! Religion does not like those who think; it thrives like a parasite on people with unquestioning obedience (those who are "teachable" not those who would like to learn.) Without thinking how can we buy in? Without the buy in, how could we sell it? If God is love, then how could he also be so heavily armed with anger, aggression and violence? How could the shepherd turn into a butcher? 

Ironically, it is these wrongful representations of someone beyond our imagination who we try to contain, when attempted to contain, that leads many people follow unmindfully in one hand and makes the other (lesser, few mortals) think at the same time too?

Unquestioning followers are the need of religious institutions just like any mental institution that houses the weird kind. The good One above loves everyone all the same. The thinker, the doer, the tinker and the sailor-all the same. He does not tolerate violence and that in any form (in thought, action or inaction,) is injustice to him... thats all, so simple to understand. This is the moral cage we need to build around us; not a cage someone lures us into with the sink hole of 'betrayal' cleverly, carefully and clearly imposed.

The business that people play with God is marvelous and last time I heard of what happened to those who rip, wrap and attempt to trap God entering into his territory where others of faith walk in was interesting... those who tried, got the ends of a whip that his hands wielded strip them apart as he chased them outside the temple gates. May I pray for the sheep that flock with faith that they be protected from those preying hyenas and that the predators meet the protector's whip... Amen. 

Pic: http://missionservants.org/about/we-believe/jesus-good-shepherd-follows-sheep/

Come On Lets Differentiate

Caste, Race, Tribes, Professionals, we have ever so many ways to segregate people. At the end of the day, we can divide the world into two-the ones who divide and the others who don't. A lot can be learnt from the game of chess... at the end of the game, the king and the pawn, the bishop and the knight, the queen and the rook, black and white-all go into the same box...
 
Some people feel too great when in those armchairs of power; I pity them as I wonder, "How useless and loose their arms might hang when that chair is removed?" Then, when they witness that they were never respected in the first place, will they ask then, "What did I do to deserve this?!" Would I be able to remind them then that it was not power that they controlled but power that controlled them. 
 
Trust me, today I stand as witness to understand that power can corrupt the soul of even the good ones. Are they "good" from then? 
 
I wondered, "If God decends today, and tried to fit into an organization, which would he choose? what title will he be offered? and what would his pay scale be?" I really don't know about the first few questions, but take my word, if he settles in for an "Indian" pay scale and thinks that his opinions will count, he will soon figure out that he is disappointed... but I wish that by then he would have a family and two kids too and know what... he might allow himself to be violated and may not even complain too. 
 
This world has blessfully advanced so much that our visions blind our missions and our egos block our passions and each one is running towards something, so convinced that what he does is a means to the end. And I remembered the words of George Washington Carver, "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these." Ces't la vie...

My Misadventure With Truth

Today my country celebrates its Republic Day, the day it brought forth one of the longest constitution drafted within three years since its independance into effect in one of the world's largest democracy. My friends, those poor natives a.k.a "our grave internal threats" who are getting killed for trying to preserve their land, territory and resources would regard this day as the day a plan was laid to curtail their freedom-in pretext of providing welfare through compulsive reforms, the day when their pride and age-old tradition, culture and wisdom were snatched, hatched, boxed and despatched to fit into blueprints drawn to make them nothing more than exhibits in our historical archives. They have not succeeded still (thank goodness!) yet they haven't tried to stop trying too. Duh!

 

Have some of the neo-modern slaves gained freedom by gaining their monetary benfits by selling their dignity, time, families and self? Have corporate slaves who work for their needs within those COBs in well strategized segregations (usually based on race) that the segregator (usually the one who is trusted with running the organization) feels others are too stupid to notice-really not notice? Has slavery really ended when our fundamental rights are snatched in the name of some new-found policies that we are made to follow "obligatorily"? If not, your slavehood is lost.

 

Today, if you raise your voice against these practises, those 'holier than thou art' humans who indulge in it, would call you "violent," "need tuning" and sit you quietly to "observe" what they do which they think is the best. This is neither the best nor is it sustainable as there is fault in their thought; the thought that they think that there is nothing beyond their race or their learning that they can see in others. This limitation is their downfall. And this downfall inevitable if this scenario persists. Till then what is the point in a constitution, policies, rights, freedom and liberty? Just a mockery of international injustice and missions right at your face... hahaha! Atleast I can laugh thinking of those who think that I was born yesterday or can I?   

 

Bottomline: "I know you are here to kill me. Shoot, coward, you are only going to kill a man." Che Guevara 

Walking Past

The last couple of weeks, it has been very encouraging to walk past a few situations which otherwise would have usually made me stop and do something about it. Well rather than talk vague and not hit upon the point I shalt reveal what they were.

 

Episode 1: There was a crowd gathered around a young Man lying down in Bangalore. I stopped and looked. The guy had convulsion disorder a.k.a fits and someone was trying to provide him the right first aid (not the one where one hands over a key or any other iron rod) yet another was calling for an ambulance. I moved on.

 

Episode 2: There was this old lady... dirty, schizophrenic a.k.a mad, and longing to have water from a pot kept right outside a restaurant in Chennai. The owner and the cashier of the restaurant saw this lingering figure and shooed her off; not only did they try to scare her, they even removed the pot from there. I stopped and looked. Suddenly there was this young Man who from the shop came out with a water packet (water is sold in packets here) and gave the lady. I moved on.

 

Episode 3: There was an old Man trying to figure out where he could find a public telephone. He seemed like he had just got off a train and had a suitcase in hand too. Must be one of those old-timers who believes that carrying a mobile is an ingredient to constant disturbance in a rather peaceful world. But then, even an elephant slips and probably he needed to call someone badly as he seemed desperate to find the booth and now could not find one and was misguided in directions, and now he seemed desperately lost. I stopped and looked. Suddenly like it did not mean anything, a Man in the crowd slipped his mobile to him like it was the natural thing to do and the old Man took it and used it like it was all that he expected. And by the by, this happened in Chennai. 

 

Now, I am encouraged and am complacent to know as a witness to the proof that happened around me that I have shared that the world is moving well and for the better and it is nice to see this. It does make me feel old as I watch the young make changes which I once did wondering why there was no one else doing it and now I understand that some guy walked passed by that day too-smiling to himself with hope-like I just did today. Today I am glad that there is someone and so many to stop, listen and do something to people who cry and not let those tears dry in vain. Nevertheless, it moves...

Instigated Movement

This is the first time I am titling the post before I wrote the content. I look around and find life in its interesting and challenging best. People are working their 'whatever' off, undercurrents of great magnitude sweep subtly underneath my 'whatever' with tension rising out of vulnerability and stress created by the survival instinct of others, I usually would care a rat's "whatever" about these issues but this time I noticed. I noticed that people can extend such sharpened, painful and pointed energy that you don't want to see and you see it so much that you are influenced by it so much that you reflect who they are and eventually see yourself becoming them. Not Good!

 

Everyone seems to be taking a break, wanting a break, needing a break and above all, running like hell far away... far, far away from WORK. "Never mix with your office crowd after office hours," is a good lesson i learnt from the past. Contrary to the reason why it is done, it does not actually strengthen you nor does it tighten the ties with your colleagues rather, it weakens you and makes you more vulnerable to everyone who watch you and know that you do not have anything better to do in life and with your life and just shows you are one lousy, work-dependent loner. Like I always say, "I have a wonderful home to step into where I have everything to keep me joyfully occupied and I cannot think of anything beyond that. I thank God for blessing me with such abundance. At work, it is challenging; if it is new, there are so many creepy challenges, if it is on the run, there are heaping challeneges and if it is old enough, then the challenges are still there as everything will be laid on your head expecting them to be resolved. I thank God for blessing me with those challenges and keeping me occupied without which otherwise, I might miss my family too bad." 

 

I just asked someone, "How far do you have to run away from work to be relaxed?" He seems to need to run away, from office. He runs far. He runs to people who he finds comforting. And away from office. We talked on it further and he asked me what I do for relaxing. I found, as I answered, that I find making a change relaxing. Small ones... though big ones are gladly accepted though not expected. People, things, situation... some change. Once I get to see that change happen, it is relaxing. It happens at home, it happens in the office, it may happen on the road, in the wilderness, in places where no one exist where I might plant a tree or in my neighbour's garden where I might help in fixing a tap... it happens in things I fix or help getting fixed and above all in relationships... to move that one inch forward toward goodness, peace and love. Manytimes and often times, the change happens within me.

 

For the moment, I know that I can help in making people feel good. Good about themselves and good about what they do. I can make a change by making them feel good so that they can do what they have been doing and stay good without pushing themselves too bad and pushing themselves too hard that they feel like running away. They need to know that noone else but they, can push what they are pushing as good as that. And someone needs to tell them that and thats what I do happily as it makes me happy to see them smile. And as far as getting attached to work/office is concerned, I need to detach and draw clear lines. New place, new people and I am a stranger in this land too and it is easy to drift and fall into the trap of a warm and welcoming working place... even after work. I need to walk out, meet people, make new friends and get a life and thats exactly the lesson I shall fetch from history to carry it forward to the future.

 

Bottomline: The key sign to a healthy life is 'movement' and it seems true to me to believe that it is the dead tree that need not move.  

 

p.c: http://www.lowdensitylifestyle.com/movement-a-key-to-a-healthy-happy-life-part-1/

A Moment Of Sanity

Today, someone gave me a bunch of his visiting cards and asked me to distribute it and spread his fame during an event. After a while, someone asked me to bring what I had written voluntarily in a random paper, re-written in a white sheet because supposedly that is how he wanted it. Someone guided me through GPS, and the other through his thoughts and yet another by matter of opinion... and everyone wondered why I could not ask for directions as I was cluelessly stuck in the middle of a traffic jam and all I wanted was help. I wondered and I couldn't help but wonder... When was the last time I was treated this bad? When was the last time I took all these bent down? When was the last time I would let anyone get away with an attempt to tune me? When was the last time I was this small? When was the last time I felt so wasted and worthless? When was the last time I felt so dead with humiliation that it did not matter that it was happening over and over again? When was the last time no one noticed?  

As I sat through some powerful words of great wisdom (and a really boring one,) shattering the bass speakers, it seems like words make no sense to me anymore. Words are huge and burdening and the actions so few. Last evening I sat listening to people unhappy about the lack of depth of the swimming pool in their appartment and today I listened to a young man who has just moved in to work at the same place whose wife had miscarried twice earlier this year mention that he has found a house to settle but with no toilet... but he was happy; happy that atleast his wife and he could be together.

What can I do? Here I am sobbing within, unable to cry. I almost choked on my way back... during that long drive. I stopped at the cafe. The young person at the counter served me what I asked without sulking. He brought me what I needed packed nicely in brown covers (noone even cared to remember the 2 of us held in an assignment who didn't have anything to eat since morning as they were busy having their plates filled...) noone cared as they got busy once gain hurrying back to listen to lectures on salvation, goodness and the glory of God. This person now at the counter seemed to care. The only one who seemed to care I witnessed the entire day. I tipped him. Tipped him more than I should and everything I could (one of my moments of sheer madness.) And he stood there without a blink and looked at me questioningly wondering if I had made a mistake. I patted him and said, "Thank you." He must have thought I was insane; little did he realize that that was the only sane moment I had had the entire day.  

p.c: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadness

7 Vows in Indian Marriages

When it comes to Indian marriages, words like big, fat, extravagant, pomp and show come to our mind at once. However, irrespective of the style and size of the wedding, one thing that remains common in all Hindu marriages is the 'seven vows' signified by the sacred 'saat pheras' around fire or 'agni', which is one of the most imperative rituals of Indian weddings. With each 'phera' the couple makes a vow, a commitment with strong mythological roots, which is to be lived forever and more, its only then that a couple is accepted as husband and wife for the next many lives to come.

These seven vows are supposed to serve as an anchor to keep the couple going through all the ups and downs of life together, as husband and wife tied to each other in a sacred relationship.

First vow

The couple appeals to the almighty to shower blessings in the form of pure and nourishing food with a respectful and noble life. The groom pledges to provide welfare and happiness to his wife and children, whereas the bride swears to shoulder all responsibilities for the welfare of the groom's entire family.

Second vow

The groom requests the bride to be his strength so that he can provide security and protect the family with courage. The bride agrees to abide by, while demanding eternal love and undivided attention.
Third vow

The couple pleads for wisdom, wealth, and prosperity in order to live a content and satisfied life. They pledge to remain spiritually committed and the bride assures the groom that by the virtue of true love and devotion she will remain a chaste wife.

Fourth vow

The groom thanks his would-be wife for bringing auspiciousness, happiness, and sacredness in his life. In return, the bride takes an oath to serve and please her husband in every way possible. Together, they also pledge to take care and respect their elders in the family.

Fifth vow

The importance of the fifth vow is to pray for the welfare of all the living things in this Universe and begetting a noble breed. The couple also prays to almighty to bless each other's friends and family with happiness and well-being.
Sixth vow
In the sixth vow, God is invoked to bless the couple for bountiful seasons and long lived togetherness. The groom wishes that his wife would glut his life with joy and peace; while the bride provides assurance that she would participate with her husband in all his noble and divine acts.

Seventh vow

This is the last vow adding completion to the ceremony. Here the couple pleads for the long lasting relationship, enriched with understanding and loyalty. They take an oath to nourish their relationship with love and honesty and be together with each other forever not only in this life, but also in the lives to come.

Even though different religions and cultures have their own unique set of vows and different ways to perform them, the basic meaning of all remains the same 'commitment', a vow of being spiritually united as one. It is a way to assure your partner that he/she is worthy of your love and you are willing to submit, 'till death do you part'.

 

P.s: I did not write anything in this piece. It was a slot I read in yahoo and something I wanted to write about; So, "why reinvent the wheel?!" I wondered.

 

Source: http://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/significance-of-7-vows-in-indian-marriages.html

 

http://hinduweddingplanner.in/aboutus.aspx?link_text=Indian%20Weddings

Who Said So

Cicero's (106 - 43 BC) philosophy: 

1. The poor: work and work, 

2. The rich:  exploit the poor, 

3. The soldier: protects both, 

4. The taxpayer: pays for all three, 

5. The wanderer: rests for all four, 

6. The drunk: drinks for all five, 

7. The banker: robs all six, 

8. The lawyer: misleads all seven, 

9. The doctor: kills all eight, 

10. The undertaker: buries all nine, 

11. The Politician: lives happily on the account of all ten. 

"Can we quantify 'God'?" seems to be the thought I am troubled with as I wonder deep within... "Should I be quantifying God?" However, everyone wants to build definitions; rigorously working towards containing everything into a small box of their understanding as I stand in vain knowing that the unlimited need not be/cannot be brought into our spectrum of limitations and limited undersatnding... yet the crowd moves. They push and push like a woman in labour and somehow I am pushed too and commit the sin of indulging to do the same as well; knowing well that what I attempt cannot be done having done it more than once in the past too and having the lesson well. Yet, I move along...

I wonder from where comes this desire to try one more time and feel like a fool later on? For uttering words that cannot be taken back; yet I vomit! To regret like a complete idiot for not holding on to silence and bearing with others who are taking the same course that I had taken once. Why does regret come in first and why is patience delayed? 

Someone said that not quantifying God and resting with "Thathuvam' asi" was a sign of laziness. I got irritated. "Why?" I asked myself. If I was at peace then from where arrived this sudden discomfort to rob me of my sanity? I was digging in deeper not wanting to be disturbed one more time, the next time. Complacency disturbed, disrupted, destroyed... I was wondering how well closed I had become in the attempt to open up; jumping from one box right into another. Am I thinking different or is my thinking different? Why are people who think different so alone... (so lonely)?! So am I deliberating mediocre thoughts to belong? Is that where I really want to belong? 

Am I in a place where everything has to be something as I see nothing in it? Are we trying to be smarter or are we trying to show that we are smarter? Why do I talk like a crack pot and realize it too? Having learnt that action speaks louder than words and knowing that silence is golden, why can't I simply shut up and why am I trying to articulate better to survive? So, is the need to survive blocking my vision of existence? 

Does thoughtlessness expose emptiness or does it expose the epitome of nirvana? Why am I disturbed if I knew what peace was once? Why did I slip? Why do I fall? Am I losing myself in the middle of nowhere yet again and searching my soul yet again... knowing well that unless you lose yourself you can't find yourself... Am I lost yet again?! Duh!... As I watch the world pass by from my glass window, I wonder why does it shatter me within (that I try not to let anyone else see) when someone shatters the window pane? Do I fear getting out into the crowd 'I think' I have analysed for long or disturbed that someone shattered the thin line that separated the "me" from "them"? Why am I not me? If I really believed in nothing, then why do I believe in me? Why do I want to be me? Do I really have to be me...? and for that matter anyone I want to be or not to be?

"Lord, thee I dare not contain with my critical thinking-unquantified, unshaped and unconditionally loved thus-in your unlimited vastness I submit me, shape me as you desire (I need not even ask thee)... it is thine I want to be and with faith as blind as can be I move, let each step be a step towards thee."

p.c: http://noorimages.com/feature/the-lost-years/afghanistan-mazar-sharif-women-begging-by-road/

What Is Love

Someone I know, knowing the number of pitfalls I have scrambled out of as far as matters of love is concerned, asked me, "What is love?!" And all I could do was not define it yet tried to give a verb to it and said... "Love is not about conquering anyone; its about surrendering. Its not about receiving; its rather about giving. Its not about humiliating; its about humbling. Always show that you respect your partner and let it be seen... you will be respected too."

p.c: http://angel-doc.blogspot.in/