Last few days there has been quite a few occassions when the idea of utopia (vs) reality was brought into the perspective for discussion. The truth is never out there; it lies somewhere beneath... sometimes just below your self-constructed, masked, fake image created. In the pursuit of happiness, happiness vanishes once when realized. If one stops to reflect upon happiness, happiness seizes to exist.
So is true satisfaction the actual and happiness just a fantasy we convincingly fool ourselves with a desperate hope to make it seem true? Can everything experienced in life be drawn into charts and figures for others to believe in? Why the effort?!...
Watching the sub-urban drudgery and chronic dissatisfaction of the mortals I am with every single day of my life, sometimes I am forced to wonder if the pit we often find ourselves in devouring us sans giving us a chance to climb. Future is so scary (truthful here) and so I sink into the present to feel complacent and in the attempt to make myself believe so, with that effort, find it meaningless and the pit's devouring capacity further enhanced thus. Can't find refuge in the past as well as the present is just the consequence of the past which I detest. So here I am with the past, present and future staring like a ghost in the dark I can't take my eyes off.
Today I stand not needing anyone to belittle me as I do myself that favour. Horrible it feels yet that is the reality I do not want to run away from. Atleast that bit of residual guts makes me feel good. Feels like nothing and nothing it feels... could this merriment of ridiculing the self to a point of no return with nothingness be what nirvana is all about? If everything means nothing and everything is the same at the end of the day, then why isn't utopia the reality and vice versa?...
By the by, the title means nothing... right? Now thats the point! Why did we want it to mean something and why did we even relate it with anything in the first place? hahaha!... Ces't la vie...
Bottom line: "One creates from nothing. If you try to create from something you're just changing something. So in order to create something you first have to be able to create nothing. " Werner Erhard
