The Coiling Female Sexuality

Today I read a passage from a book on female sexuality and it was quite interesting. A woman has written about trans-sexual energy and the coitus that follows... the path she has to take and the past she has to let go before experiencing the shiverring, spine chilling experience of an orgasm so very inhuman. There is the mentioning of a energy wave that flows and fills the room, noticable by everyone and predictably to everyone's envy. The experience she claims, is very trans sexual and extremely spiritual making 'SEX' a Sacred-EXpression of love. It struck a chord in me as I am someone who believes in the energy as well.

After the spiritual experience where the woMan feels like a goddess before, during and after making love, she tries to have sex as mortals do and finds the experience unworthy-both for her partner as well as herself. Struck a chord again. However, what is this energy that overwhelms some, unknown to plenty? Is it an experience describable? or should it be left in the realms of 'thathuvumasi'?

Its a spiritual search to connect I believe. The trinity that connects... truth, love and simplicity. The mutual bond that is created, realized and celebrated. The energy that moves with every wave of the body, the body itself moving and arching like a snake-a snake in perfect motion, coiling with a flow, a humble submission than a learnt feeling of frantic humiliation. The offering of complete vulnerability. The beauty of surrendering the soul with no barriers or shame. The emergence of a rekindled soul, glowing with an experience of an enlightened height of ecstacy and euphoria.

The wild passion mixed with the comfort of space and time. The truth that everyone begs to find and the love that most would live or die for, in the simple embrace of the lover. She becomes her and she becomes him.

Bottomline: Very few are rendered to see the collision of the moon and the sun

Whats Happening?!

This week in class was a wonderful experience with a lot of showering questions... some are as follows:

Sexwork is still not legalized in India and it is an offence under IPC if prostitution is carried on. How come Police do not take any action on NGOs who work for the welfare of WIPs? Aren't the NGOs inderectly supporting something illegal and aren't the Police not doing their duty?

Which Ministry or Department in GOI will take responsibility in legalizing or licensing sex as a trade just as they have done in Thailand, Amsterdam etc., as has been asked for for a very long time?

If a group of wandering children were called 'Harijans' a.k.a 'children of God' by Gandhiji as they were children who did not have an identity and claimed to be so being born of a Devadassi and a Temple Priest (a Brahmin) and later referred to as 'Dalits; by Dr. B.R.A and now categorized under SC/ST by the Constitution are being treated as 'the untouchables' by the very own Brahmins who seeded them, isn't that ironical?!

If some of the people in the existing caste system in India feel that it is wrong to touch or come in contact with some people who they claim to be 'untouchables' and they refrain to a safe distance from human contact, who are the real 'untouchables'?! Wouldn't that name better suit the ones who refuse to be touched?

In a Welfare State like India, how is it that in states like Tamil Nadu, Education is privatized and the sale of alcohol is the Government's job?!

When we worry about racism happening abroad, why don't we do anything about the existing casteism within?

Why is there a system of multiple taxation in India?

Why is there a system of multiple Government in India?

Bottomline: Why is India yet to shine?!

A fool in Love

There are times when the mind is galloping at a pace that your body cant catch up to and vice versa... probably because there is no tryst or rather the mission is endured sans the soul. However, this is the state I am in and perhaps remain par contra. Something seems missing and something seems out of place; either its me or easier to blame the tryst or nevertheless-the absence of the trinity.

Long time ago a wise sage once told me that it would never be possible for a woman to reach godliness as their aspirations are grounded in a vain attempt to match Men who they wish to match upto; when Men on the other hand have nothing to compare themselves to and are on their path towards spirituality. Made sense as why at an older age, some Men rest in peace amidst aspiring, tantrum-throwing bourgeois women of their own age.

All that woman wants is wants. Want after want after another want... and all that a Man wants is a woman... and along comes with that package-the need to shoulder all her wants and cribbing and nagging till one want is fullfilled after the other.

Yesterday, somewhere around midnight, I was awakened by a sudden-unexpected visitor, one of my friends, who recently "fell in love" with one of the chicks around. This guy thought ('thought' being underlined and emphasized) that life was easy for him now once agin thinking that he found his soul mate atlast. As usual I was looking for that illusion to shatter. Often that nagging and 'where are you?', 'who are you with?', 'when will you be back?', 'why so long?', 'what are you doing?','why do you have a dog?', 'why can't you kill your mother?'... blah, blah, blah and blah, blah, blah... sort of nagging that every woman resorts to started and I knew the ditch near the bitch was near!

These crazy females can never learn to shut their mouth. Think they never taught them to do that in their planet. Maybe thats why they need to be fed with something all the time to keep their dirty, big, squandering, moth-infested, halitosis-spreading disgusting mouths shut.

Then suddenly when this guy came in, he had a long face. He came in with an SOS. This cranky slut had sent him an SMS giving him an idea that her image would be lost if anyone found her hanging out with him (this guy supposedly is an 'untouchable' so say the actual untouchables)... as if she didn't think about it before beginning her slut business. At the end of the day, he fell asleep thinking about her-disappointed and dejected. Poor guy I felt... the first death is painful and after a while, the ghost just gets used to dying too often.

Bottomline: "Can't kill a dead Man twice... can we?"

Chanting the Cry

There is something that I noticed recently. The reason to chant. There is this guy who introduces himself as someone who has a lot of influence with people and matters relating to religion. Though a good friend of mine whose feelings I do respect, personally, I do not contain myself in shackles of religion. However, there came a point when he tried to tell me something that he wanted me not to do and as usual, I did not quite appreciate someone who had the nerve to tell me what to do and what not to. So I had to ask him to mind his own business and let the decisions I need to make be mine. Saying that, I was carrying on with my work and suddenly I hear humming of some strange kind. This guy was sitting in his lotus position and chanting mantras! Duh! Was he trying to intimidate me? Or maybe wanted to remind me that he is somebody who realms in power everyone sees and very few oversee. Or could it be that he was trying to find his own space to come clear off that disturbed peace by walking off into his world of surreal fantasy?! However, I was trying to smile with these thoughts.

Then came a situation when we had to rush in to oversee the rescue attempt of a few labourers who got trapped in a landslide. Interestingly the situation was more complicated than we expected; to find that the landslide was more man-made than natural. This situation arose not due to negligence yet due to complete submission by the so called “engineers” who worked around a heap of loose mud to keep a tree intact and went about building a structure around it commissioned to do so by one of the unquestionable high priests from a religious pact. 2 died. Still more awaiting the same destiny… though none still can refute the foolishness of the structure. Is it the poverty of the victims that makes silencing their cry so easy?

The self-acclaimed and often accepted power of this religious clan makes me wonder if other’s life is so easy to be taken for granted and easily coverable under chants which many do not understand. These are unsaid stories that will remain unsaid. The victims of these overt thinkers who profess their world of fantasies which they proclaim capable of seeing so blatantly misguided and taken for a ride… which by the by, they seem to enjoy. So who cares?! Power does play its rounds so well.

Bottomline: This land where I live is a land where someone said “Even if thou reavelth thy third eye, thy mistake shall be a mistake”

Is There Something There?!

The Messiah of hope they call the one who brings forth the NEWS of hope, despair and cluttered mixture of joy and happiness. The Messiah they make, at times pushed to the spiritual realms of a mystery, a euphoria, an ecstasy and a charisma dispelling; as if foretold. The mortals deny the free flow of the intellect to shatter this deliberated elevation. At times its just that sheeps always need a shephard. Nevertheless, most foxes hide beneath a sheep's skin.

The vain attempt to hide a morbid fear, the depth of the unknown treaded upon; from the howling beast to the blinding mist, an image emerges to stir the soul of the deepest fears the dark beholds. The imagination running wild, the mind as deep and dense as the ocean, now clouded with interepted thoughts, contemplating the presence of something so metaphysical in such a surreal world.

The light shatters this mystery though so does truth. Yet when its the truth that is in question of being hidden what can immortals expect more?! Science realms till the point of defining the energy that runs the world and every flora and fauna that exists in it and not a point after that, clouding the word 'energy' itself into another cloud of mystery that the spiritual world interrupts to interpret in its own way. Religion thus capitalizing on it.

Foolish mongrels who stray like lost pigs in a dense cloud of rich sty, slaving their bodies to rush from one temple to another except within. The world revolves and revolves as it will yet the ones who expect it to revolve around them will make people believe that it sure does as long as the doors of the paradise of fools remains unshut with the traffic of the waiting crowd of seekers of destiny in freewill.

Bottomline: Religion is an opium of fools and everyone rushes in with pots full and minds empty

Training the Tempest

Testing the man's impulse, temptation reigns.

With the maiden's simplest twist,

melody galored, beauty adored.

The ravaging beast within, all set to devour;

Knowing not the prey already lying in sweet surrender.

Lying thus between the mythical lines of insanity, vain, pain and seductive pleasure all entwined.

Tempest of lust rising like wildfire.

Amidst hope and shattering despair,

raining clouds could have drenched the reigning moan.

Yet with a harmonious glow with nothing left to conquer

began the exploration of the soul.

Bodies tied like a hangman's rope,

the noose neither killing nor letting go.

Kisses soft and hungry too,

the muscles twitching with every turn,

coiling like serpents in tight embrace,

the heart doth race

to the lover's pace.

Lifting high on the air above,

to let her fly as she will...

yet she leaned to reach her lovers lip,

to grab another moment of sheer bliss.

A walk into the wilderness with the kiss of love,

shackles of restraint broken in haste.

no more turmoil of the world below.

the heaven too far to reach above.

Rose the stars with twinkling glee,

Life was worth living free.

Bottomline: The energy of love entices the soul and captures those moments shredding the feeling, wanting for more...

Chanting the Cry Away

There is something that I noticed recently. The reason to chant. There is this guy who introduces himself as someone who has a lot of influence with people and matters relating to religion. Though a good friend of mine whose feelings I do respect, personally, I do not contain myself in shackles of religion. However, there came a point when he tried to tell me something that he wanted me not to do and as usual, I did not quite appreciate someone who had the nerve to tell me what to do and what not to. So I had to ask him to mind his own business and let the decisions I need to make be mine. Saying that, I was carrying on with my work and suddenly I hear humming of some strange kind. This guy was sitting in his lotus position and chanting mantras! Duh! Was he trying to intimidate me? Or maybe wanted to remind me that he is somebody who realms in power everyone sees and very few oversee. Or could it be that he was trying to find his own space to come clear off that disturbed peace by walking off into his world of surreal fantasy?! However, I was trying to smile with these thoughts.
Then came a situation when we had to rush in to oversee the rescue attempt of a few labourers who got trapped in a landslide. Interestingly the situation was more complicated than we expected; to find that the landslide was more man-made than natural. This situation arose not due to negligence yet due to complete submission by the so called “engineers” who worked around a heap of loose mud to keep a tree intact and went about building a structure around it commissioned to do so by one of the unquestionable high priests from a religious pact. 2 died. Still more awaiting the same destiny… though noone still can refute the foolishness of the structure. Is it the poverty of the people that makes silencing their cry so easy?
The self-acclaimed and often accepted power of this religious clan makes me wonder if other’s life is so easy to be taken for granted and easily coverable under chants which many do not understand. These are unsaid stories that will remain unsaid. The victims of these overt thinkers who profess their world of fantasies which they proclaim capable of seeing so blatantly misguided and taken for a ride… which by the by, they seemed to enjoy. So who cares?! Power does play its rounds so well.

Bottomline: This land where I live is a land where someone said “Even if thou reavelth thy third eye, thy mistake shall be a mistake”

What is this life if full of care?

Hello! Know what? Life has its twists and turns yet there are moments when dead ends are often the point where one reaches no matter how many expected right turns one takes, no matter how many crossroads one gets to.

Life is interesting and at times i force myself to say those favourite words of mine... "Lifes Good!" someday without feeling so untrue.

However, yesterday there was a sudden change in my thoughts like a flick of a whip, a reality check. Do I really have time to waste on trivial issues of life? Are the things I don't have time for so trivial? What are trivial things and what are not?

Thinking of the reality check, I felt that some patterns just re-emerge and think a good bull must have learnt its lesson from one whip and I just want to not re-do the things that once I regreted. Seriously I do not want to take that guilt trip again nor do I want to wander in a lost land of no hope. Then why do I plunge? Thats a questions I often ask myself only after taking the plunge... bit too late to answer anyway.

Life has odd corners too with someone waiting for you. Once you get near, you know that it is only an illusion. How long does one chase shadows? Worth chasing? Worth wasting so much time? The answer is obvious yet we chase... yet we get lost... yet we wonder... yet we never stop.

Now what? Reality check. Is it really going to make sense? Is it going to help me with my logic? Or are these too big to let the heart take its own course? Heart, mind, body and soul-whats the difference? All a game of semantics I suppose.

Bottomline: Life is only a genetically passed disorder and death is hereditary

Visiting The Forsaken Territory

Its been a long time since I have written with anger. Today I am angry and now as I write this, I am angry. I am angry with too many and as I always, keep reminding myself that, “someone who angers you, conquers you” and today, now, I stand conquered and incomplete acceptance.

The kind of thing that one gets angry about is the essence, the killer, the vulnerability and I have not learnt yet to deal with it. The cause being the result of the effect, the conditional boxes trying to contain me again, yet again, is the cause.

What started since yesterday being told that I should score people less in the tests, followed with people telling me what clothes I look better in expecting to dress up for their expectation, followed by people trying to tell me what to speak and what not to and all that BULLSHIT… by now I am fed up and have learnt from the past that once you let someone tell you what to be, you lose yourself, your own being and this is something that I do not want to go through at the moment. Have traveled well enough and have taken these paths that appear before me and have hated these patterns, refuted it and have lived sans guilt for a long… quite happily, for a very long time since. I hate these conditional boxes and if people want me to fit into one, they might themselves fit into that filth without bothering me. I am complacent and I hate being checked upon. Now people try as they try with other mortals… forgetting the fact that I was neither born yesterday nor do I consider them anything more than nothing.

I hate it when someone tells me what to do. Once again I have always done what is said to be never done and have always quite confidently and deliberately rebelled to break these conditional boxes and now, this audacity by people to imply boxes around me?! Surprising! Quite surprising!

Who the hvjkadha are these creatures to disturb my peace? Wish this was the good old days in the wild wild west when momentary anger can be vented and justice met then and there. I am sure I would have taken a few down or atleast died than lose my liberty, than let people contain me in these conditional boxes. I hate these conditional boxes. It has taken me so many years to reach this stage of complacency. Managed to free myself from many strangling conflicts, so many decisions that had to be taken, so many rules that were broken, so many effortless decisions, so many thoughtless thoughts, so many rebellious encounters and so so much… yet they want me to lose all this? In moments?! Just like that?! What the lkjdap;f? This is not it. This is simply not it. I hate these conditional boxes.

Nothing has contained me and no one ever has nor ever will. Now then, why expect? Who the jhahfoa do they think they are to tell me what to do? Who the nhdfjosgosdjgl do they think they lkashflhqlkf are? Nothing. Nothing at all according to me. What makes them think that I care a rats arse about who the bloody ,dgfaf they are? I don’t. or do I? I really don’t. they can go and live their bloody miserable hajlhfdwq up life and I care less. Have I given them undue attention and importance that they feel that now they can pontificate? No. I seriously don’t respect humans. No not at all. If they think that I do, I am sorry, I have disappointed you and happy that I have. Agjdq you all!

Infact, I despise you all who live with one squinted eye bothered about the world supposedly watching you and another on your miserable self entitled to life long guilt trips. I think you live your ljahfa life and let me live mine and I don’t want to belong to your group. Why pull me in? Why even try? I hate these condition boxes and I don’t want to be there where you can take your already rotting arses and screw yourself there.

Bottomline: Never let people tell you how good you are as they soon have the power to tell you how bad you are too.

Now What If...

"How much is too much?" This used to be the question sans answer posed a long time ago and the drama still continues.

Yesterday, I was called by Dr. X in the Department and in an announcement meant to reach the entire Staff Room through me, it was told that I had erred by giving a full mark for a student in the class test.

According to the hypothesis, 'they need space for improvement by marking them less.'

There was a question once again thrown at me, if there was no place where I can reduce the marks. There wasn't. This kid had taken pains to write the Psychological and Psychiatric aspects of the concept, had presented it really well and there was simply no error. Actually, given a choice, I would have marked more. Yet I had to agree upon power thrown around that I will mark them less next time "Giving them the space for improvement" Duh!

Now what if people tell me whats the minimum marks I can give rather than tell me the maximum?

Now what if people leave the extent of the mark to be given to the discretion of the Lecturer and just keep their perspectives to themselves?

Now what if people learnt to pontificate less?

Now what if I still don't believe that someone has to be marked less just because I have the power to tell them that I can... because I can?

Now what if the students decide that marks cannot judge how good they are?

Now what if people try to figure a way to positively reinforce good work rather than highlight the not so positives all the time?

Now what if I still don't fall for this pressure and still decide for myself what is best even if I am not right?

Now what if the world learns to stop containing people within limits and give them space to grow?

Bottomline: Now what if... we recheck ourselves?!