The Three Kinds of People

In a recent conversation with my son, he mentioned that we should not be cutting ties with people; this was after we were wondering about being independent and self-reliant without bothering or disturbing others. He reminded me of an earlier conversation we had when I had mentioned that it is not ideal to to be dependent and lost nor wise to be independent and alone but quite reassuring when we can be 'inter-dependent'. He added on, 'We have lost too many people who we couldn't get along with and we are left with only a few... let's not lose them too.'

This was neat and timely. The books say, people either go towards people, avoid people or move away from people. The first two are surprisingly sympathetic and pathetic. Those who move towards people with a sense of neediness to be accepted, respected and loved are those who need constant validation; those who avoid are the one's who have been affected during earlier interactions with certain kinds who would have broken a trust or even better - betrayed them. The third kind are the complacent ones... with no need for validation nor fear of being betrayed - they simply move away minding their own business with self-assurance. Which one to be or not to be, is our choice and ours alone.   

Personally, I have committed to be of the third kind. Superimposing Transactional Analysis to these three types, this may also be compared to being a dependent child and transforming into a selective adolescent/adult and later maturing into a spaced-out individual. While this may sound and appear to be a personality trait, it is a dependent variable based on our situation. It is retrospective. 

My son seems to be right in content yet we may have to differ in perspective. For some considered lost, who walked away, who shut doors, who live in a scripted delusional narrative do not deserve to be with you for better or for worst. At this point, we may not know what we appear to be or which category we get slotted into by others. That is upto them and we have no control over it. The best I can say to those who have taken their time to label and slot me into a category of their convenience, I may be guilty as charged; but, the charges are guiltlessly accepted...