Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Traffic Signal

One day as I was driving past the traffic in the peak hours of the morning, I saw for fact that every human is rushing towards something only s/he knows and in a mindless effort to negotiate, cares so less for the other mortals taking the same path. So in the road, just as in the trip called life.
The rudimentary challenge that confronts my mind at this moment to get past this suburban drudgery is the chronic dissatisfaction that confronts all my efforts and makes it seem so fragile… is this bubble we live in so delicate? When do we have a story of our life worth having, carved on stone instead of these fading passages we tiringly try to write in the sands near the shore… nevertheless even stones disappear with constant dropping of tears don’t they?
Probably the emergence of this unpleasant and demanding vacuum devouring me which makes me frantically search for those little pleasures of life hidden and lying submerged in the unknown hues of a pleasant sky often when realized, comes from within. Probably we expect too much from outside to make us happy… or is it due to the bulging ambitious drive which oversees the stones one has to step on despite the flesh being torn, we seldom wait to frown as our eyes are lifted somewhere high on the mountains we wish to reach, our legs still walking on? At the end of the day, what the heck are we all walking for following the trails left behind by others in flocks hoping that this is the trail every lost soul takes?
The easiest path is to follow the footsteps of others I suppose… no wonder books sell so well. We second-hand creatures!
One more thing that I get to see are people in the verge of anxiety and with a rush of fear and hope to have everything under their control even those beyond, resort to superstitions. Those which make us pledge some elements responsible for the ways we screw up our lives or things around it.
These days I am so glad that I was present during one of the life changing sessions I had attended during my college days… the person who talked was a renowned and famous actor known for his criticism of religion. He said that if religion uses fear arising out of anxiety as a tool to imprison us in our own self acclaimed prison and thrives on the revenue thus expected to exculpate us, then who needs such a religion which brings forth such superstitions for its own promotion?
By renouncing religion, we save ourselves from this complacency of surviving on such superstitions. What one has to deal with and carefully uproot is the fear and anxiety that lies beneath deep rooted, instead of trying to chip out branches or apply makeup to an unhealing wound.
If I were to put it in a pure language of Economics, ‘An uneven distribution of my soul sans a tryst between my heart and mind in the perfect market situation bothered by countless thoughtless thoughts.’ Just like every intellect questioning in remorse at the end of the day the knowledge which corrupts and the second-hand learnings and thoughts without which he would have been better off… those signs of learning that got him labeled eccentric which he can’t deny… and he still thinks in borrowed conceptions and perceptions to understand his hunger and evoke his own thoughts. Still thinking… Now what?

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